How I tell myself that everything will be okay

I’ll admit it. I’m struggling with what to write right now, in multiple ways.

I got in a draft of my gun culture story to the Vox editors, and my co-reporters and I are working on tightening the focus to really get at the core of the story. Honestly, I’ve been wrestling a lot with how to write this story, how to ask the best questions, how to balance finding time to go do interviews with 17 hours of classes, more reading than I know what to do with, papers and other activities.

I’ve been a bit stressed out recently, in case you haven’t noticed.

I’ve done a bunch of work on the gun culture story — talked to a lot of people, coordinated with the other reporters. But I guess I’ve been struggling through the transition to magazine writing. It’s a good thing, ultimately; the fact that I’m fighting through this means that I’m improving. But it’s still, well, a transition. And I’ve realized this semester that I don’t exactly pull of transitions with flying colors.

There’s been a lot of writing and interviewing and observing and refocusing and rewriting and staring at my computer hoping the words will just fall out of my brain and all manner of other things related to reporting.

This has been a crazy transition, but I’ve been pushed to grow a lot. I’m finally starting to see how these last drafts of my story need to come together, how I need to focus my writing. I’m hoping this is the beginning of getting my story from decent shape to good shape. In the last couple of hours, I’ve started to feel like this isn’t quite as scary as I’ve thought.

I’m hoping things will start really coming together soon, that this initial transition will really help me learn how to improve my writing and reporting. If nothing else, it’s continuing to prepare me for what I might do after college and helping me think a lot about what I might be interested in doing after I graduate.

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